From the beginning of time itself it has been a universally accepted fact that procrastination is the worst thing ever and yet despite this an estimated 99.99999 percent of the population commits this supposedly terrible sin. Then why do we still shun procrastination like the plague when it is quite possibly the most popular work strategy of all time?

That is why I am proposing a change in the status quo, a new world order if you will. Why shun our primal desires to procrastinate when instead we can embrace them. Now you, dear reader, may be hesitant at such a change, but I assure you it is for the benefit of human development. Why finish your dreaded assignments in piecemeal when it is only wasting time? Time that could be better spent on more important and beneficial activities like surfing the web, playing video games, or starting an international nunchuck trafficking cartel. Truly you will be able spend your time far more effectively than ever before without any pesky commitments. And your work will improve as well. When you decide to cram all your work on the last night, the desperation will produce a rush of fear and adrenaline that is statistically comparable to being chased by a cyborg Ninja zombie communist named T-Rex – and this all exponentially increases your working effectiveness. When the people of Earth finally adopt this ideology our planet will become a true utopia, work will improve and the people will be happier. But to accomplish this, we need you. So go out spread the word. We have a revolution to start, friends. For only united can we overthrow the tyranny of proactivity and gain the world we all truly deserve: one united nation of procrastination.