I Hate the Green Bay Packers and You Should Too

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Gang Green: A long-suffering Lions fan goes on a screed against hated division rival (and media darlings) the Green Bay Packers — and he enjoys it.

The Green Bay Packers are really annoying and I hate them. For about seven long years, I have had the misfortune of being a fan of the Detroit Lions for reasons even I myself don’t really understand anymore. It just sort of happened one day. During that time, I have been forced to also pay attention to the Green Bay Packers since they’re in the same division as the Lions and they play each other twice a year, and frankly I’ve grown quite sick of the Cheeseheads throughout the years. 

The Packers are coddled by the media, and the excuses that are made for them every year are rivaled only by the Dallas Cowboys, but that’s a whole different article on its own. Every game they play, the announcers call the game like they’re rooting for Green Bay, like they’re watching the game at their house in Green Bay. The worst example of this is Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, who with all due respect are the most annoying TV duo in football. If I have to hear Joe Buck scream in delight every time Aaron Rodgers goes deep, or Troy Aikman gush about how “special” Rodgers is when he completes a routine 3rd and 7 throw to the sticks, I think my head may explode. If you read everything the media said about Rodgers and the Packers, you might think Mr. Rodgers has 5 Super Bowl rings.

Media fascination, bandwagon fans, and constant prime time slots aside, the thing I hate most about these guys is how often they get bailed out by referees. Every NFL fan as seen the Packers’ Hail Mary to defeat the Lions about 50 times, but what you may not have seen is what allowed that play to happen. The Packers had been stopped on the final play of the game to end it, but a phantom facemask was called on Lions’ pass rusher Devin Taylor that re-spotted the ball and set Green Bay up for another shot. It was a bogus call that experts agreed should not have been made at all. There are more examples of this, such as the two personal fouls called on the Lions’ Trey Flowers for “hands to the face” when he grabbed someone’s shoulder pads that gifted them a victory on Monday Night Football, or the time they beat the Cowboys in the playoffs because of an inexplicable call that said Dez Bryant didn’t catch a pass that he, you know, caught. The Packers’ best player of all time isn’t Aaron Rodgers, or Brett Faver, or even Paul Hornug. It’s the men in the zebra stripes that keep bailing them out in big situations. No, I’m not salty.

I am salty.